NRI #3 - The BICS

I’m thinking how to begin the story but screw it because I have already started it.I hope you still remember the plot of NRI #2(but I don’t want you to, want to know why…… just keep reading.),in the end I said that the mystery will be revealed in the next post but due to some financial reasons and lack of creative thinking from the writer it has been postponed.Again, this story was based on two school goers and we haven't shown any class room action so this episode is going to give you one.

It was the usual scene in the class room,the teacher was finding hard to control the student and getting the attendance report at the same time and the students were busy throwing paper balls at each other and we can see the urge in the eyes of the teacher, the urge to “get the hell out of class”.Nikhz was saying to Rahul “Man,I have started to feel that we are seeing too much of the black board”.”and a lot of scribblings on that” added Raul.It was a natural feeling among students, if it seems unnatural to you I'm sorry to say that you are not a student.”We need a break from this,looking at the board make me close my eyes and loose consciousness” explained Nikhz.”Dude,that’s called sleeping” interrupted Raul.Guys, these people are experiencing “BICS”.”BI…what??” chorused everyone.Let me explain, BICS(you pronounce it “bics” not like B…I…C..S) is the abbreviated form of “Being In Class Syndrome” which you get when you attend classes without break and all you need to get out of it,is “a break”.”So how do we get the so called ‘break’,we are in class already and our Flinglish(will get to this later) teacher ll step in any moment now” said Nikhz.”and the lame walking out the class backwards only happens in some idiotic mentos ads”snapped Raul.”Man, he actually walks inside the class in that ad” said “The Boy”.”Who cares I just wanted to say that the ad was lame”explained Raul.”So what do we do now,we have to get rid of this BICS or whatever it is called” Nikhz sounded serious when he said that.For starters I will give the three basic theories to get rid of BICS

#1 – The Scape goat theory

For this,one of your crew has to be outside the class, when the teacher starts the class after five minutes you pop in,if the teacher recognizes that you are from this class and ask you to take your seat try your best to follow the following steps else, just take our seat(mission fails) and if she doesn’t recognize you(so for this you need the scape goat to be not a familiar face and brave cause…C’mon dude “hes the scape goat”) just walk in talk to the teacher that your fellow crew are urgently needed for some “urgent work” preferably in some 3 blocks away from your block.

#2 – The Geek Theory

For this you need a bunch of heavy books(strictly no magazines,sorry Raul you can’t use your old playboy magazines) related to studies in middle of the class you just stand up and hold the books high so that teacher can see them and say “Mam, I need to return these books to the library and get new ones before it closes” you may get the geeky look but who cares teacher will be impressed and you’ll be out of the class before you know, and your possible destination will be the canteen.

#3 – The Mass bunk theory

This is the oldest technique and gives the best results and you may need a little work, just spread rumour about the possible holiday in the nearest girl's school and how there might be lot of hotties in the mall and get everyone there or lie how awesome the newly released crappy movie is and get them there but it needs “team work”.

“These theory seems fine but I’m kinda getting lazy and finding difficult to move my…………you know ‘body’” said Nikhz.”Dude this is why I call you for early morning jogs, you won’t be lazy see how well I can shake n move my……… you know ’body’”boasted Raul.”Dude, what happened to you??” said Nikhz in a horrified voice.”Oh no,I sound just like the real Rahul, boasting about my lame jogging skills”trembled Raul.”OK now forget it, see bro these theories doesn’t suit us cause we are the NRI, we don’t follow theories we create one”grinned Nikhz.”Lets name it as N-BICS, Non BICS”said Nikhz.”Wow, sounds Just like aerobics which I used to do after my yoga classes”said Raul.Nikhz gave him a “Dude, C’mon” look and he returned a “Ok, I get it” look.

The N-BICS ll on action on the next episode and the mystery ll be revealed once we have settled the financial reasons.

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The Footboard,The Pole,The Seat- Journey within a journey

This journey started on a fine Monday evening, I wanted to buy a book so I decided to start for the bookshop and none of my friends answered my phone call (yeah none of themK) I was on my own that day. I was standing on one side of the road the bus stop was on the opposite side so I had to wait to cross the road to reach the bus stop. Waiting to cross the roads may really get on your nerves especially when the roads are damn busy and the traffic police are in their wit’s end by regulating the traffic, people on the same time tend to cross the road on every chance they get even when there are vehicles approaching towards them, I was standing there criticizing my fellow citizens for not following the traffic rules at the same time the bus that I wanted to catch was in the bus stop but I couldn’t catch it on time as these days, due to my new resolution I’m following each and every rule perfectly(So that I can criticize others with a peace of mind :P) and by the time I reached the bus stop it was flooded with unwanted buses(at least for me :P) I had to wait for another 15 mins until the “wanted” bus reached the bus stop.

The bus was crowded like %^&*, I was forced to stand on the footboard (I have successfully reached my first destination) and it was nothing new to me as a daily traveler of the MTC buses I was used to these situations but today was different there was this boy standing next to me who was casting an angry look on me I was checking whether I was standing on his feet but I wasn’t, later I discovered the reason for his angry look, I was blocking his view of gang of girls whom he was trying to impress(here here I’m not stating that I’m goody goody boy who won’t look at girls I was kinda already pissed off and I’m not good at impressing girls anywhere let alone a bus :P) so trying not to disappoint a fellow boy I’m moved aside n tried to enter further into the crowd and that was my worst blunder, I was pushed into the hell(smashing crowd) who were almost crushing my bones and I can’t find where my left was(not literally :P).Thanks to the 1.2 billion population of India which made such situations possible, right now I needed something that I can hold on for support, yeah “The Pole” I set my sight on my next destination.

I had a hard time reaching my next destination, I had to squeeze myself through the crowd to get hold of the pole. Why I wanted to get my hands on the pole so badly? The answer is quite simple, for every human travelling in bus who is standing the pole is a paradise it gives you a place to hold and lean on (for people who are tired of standing :P). Just then I was managed to get a glimpse of the outer world so that I can know where I’m, I was literally shocked the bus has crossed only 20% of the distance that I had to travel. I had no other choice but to continue in that damned bus. As I mentioned before, the pole was a paradise for the people standing so it naturally drew some competitors for the spot I was struggling to keep up with their attempts to get y spot, just then a friend called me to apologize was not attending the call before I hope you all know how hard it is take the mobile from your jean so I had no other way but to leave my spot near the pole in the effort to attend the phone call. After that I was back in hell cursing my friend for calling at such a time but suddenly there appeared some daylight, some people who were “seated” were getting down so I had a chance to reach my final destination of this rather absurd journey. I had to fight lot to reach the destination and I finally made it there.

The final destination is the best part of any journey and this one is no exception. Once when I got my seat it was like I have achieved something (lol :P).If you look back closely this absurd journey sure does teach you a lesson, you have to struggle to reach your goal, you will always have some competition and you should never fail to take your chances. Coming back to the story, I finally reached the book shop and was told that it ran out of stock and they asked me come back the next day. I got the book next day and it was a different story and I’m not gonna blog about that(:P).

Random fact: When I titled this post as "The Footboard,The Pole,The Seat- Journey within a journey", felt like it was dialog in "Dora The Explorer show" :P

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NRI #2 - Mystery of the missing thief - Part I

Finally after an year, the story resumes. On our heroes request they have been promoted to10th grade from 7^th grade or whatever grade they were in, but I promise that they will remain in school till the end of the story.

On a fine morning, our heroes were walking towards the “Gate of Fate” and soon they were surrounded by their friends (or “devotees” as Rahul like to call them :P) which included their huge fan base.”Hey guys, did you hear about this mysterious thief” said one of the boy in the group.”Mysterious, what?? ” asked Nikhz.”Yeah this elusive thief has been stealing various things from all the classes and no one has ever seen him” the same guy finished in reporter style.”So what’s the big deal, it doesn’t bother me as long as he stays away from us” said Nikhz.”Yeah, like we have something that he would care stealing” said Rahul. ”Whatever” replied Nikhz. “But he’s gaining popularity among girls” said someone in the group and it seemed to have raised an alarm among our heroes.”WTF, a thief is more popular than us??” asked Rahul.”Yeah and we better take care of that” said Nikhz.”So if girls like that thief guy why don’t we turn into thieves and it would be totally cool” said Rahul with a smirk.(Guys for God’s sake just drop this idea after all Heroes get beautiful Heroines :P).”No Shri think about the hot sidekicks of the villains” Said Nikhz.”Yeah and I hope we get Carmen Electra as our sidekick” Rahul added to his wishlist.(No way, you are supposed be heroes and that’s what you guys will be).”Yeah Whatever just get us a hot sidekick” said Nikhz.

Back in the class everyone was talking about the thief. So our heroes started their quest for the thief who is stealing their popularity.”Hey guys do you know what” one of Rahul’s classmate came shouting.”What now ??”asked Nikhz.”The mysterious thief is missing now there has been no news of anything being stolen for the past 2 weeks” continued the boy.”Well, it all ends this way” said Rahul.”Now we don’t have to worry about some freak stealing our place” said Nikhz.”No it seems to be the other way around” said the boy. (Man I have to name this “boy” something, it’s pretty awkward to use “boy” all the time :P)”What do you mean by that??” questioned Rahul.”This guy has made quite an impact among the people here, and surprisingly people are worried about his absence” replied the “boy”.”So Nikhz what do you think we should do now ??” asked Rahul.(C’mon what are waiting for, act like heroes bash that thief!!!).”What do you expect us to do?? Open our Shirt and reveal the “S” in our chest and fly away??” snapped Nikhz.”Ok, let’s this take seriously and knock that thief out of our way” added Rahul.

There stood the real heroes who smacked the villain off their way.

(In case if you are wondering that if I had made any mistake in the post, no I didn’t :P.The mystery behind the capture of the thief will be revealed in the next part)

Rahul: Man, Carmen Electra was not in the story :|

Me: Wait for the next part :)(phew :P)

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A midsummer's nightmare - Part II

As I was standing like a frozen figure, the sounds of the footsteps grew louder. Suddenly, everything around me started to sparkle. I got a bad feeling about that so I decided to hide behind the trees. The tree behind which I was hiding started to sparkle and I heard some voices. ”Find them no matter what they should not be allowed to escape the forest” said one of them. I couldn’t see their faces as they were bright and sparkly.”Don’t forget that they will be wearing dark robes with a crest which has the picture of a Lion or Bear or Eagle or a snake” instructed the other one “just catch them at any cost” he growled before they started to move away from me. I just waited till they and their sparkles left the place. When I was sure that they are not around, I started moving out of that place as fast as I could. Suddenly I heard footsteps again, when I turned towards the direction from where I heard the footsteps someone just knocked me down.”Hey, watch where you are going??” but after all the things I saw some moments ago I don’t why I said that. When I tried to get up I saw a wand pointed straight at my face.”Oh man! Now what?? Some wizard is going to kill me, how in the world do I manage to get into things like this??” I was cursing myself. Suddenly the wand was lowered “Hey Shri, what are you doing here??”, when I looked up I saw Prachi in Hogwarts robes with a Ravenclaw crest. I was surprised and happy to meet a friend in the middle of all the mess I got into.”Actually I should be asking this question, never mind I just got lost and ended up here, do you know this place??” I replied. As I was speaking with Prachi, I heard someone shouting from a distance. It was Hiral. "Hey, kids are not allowed here move out of this place now” shouted Hiral. "Why what’s wrong with this place" asked Prachi. "I dunno yaar, this is what the old man said when I tried to go beyond that border there He says that this place is not safe for kids so I thought of warning you people" said Hiral ."Yeah this place seems totally weird btw when you mention about danger, I encountered a group of sparkling people" I said explaining my previous experience. Suddenly there was a earthquake, before we could pull ourselves up we saw two giants walking towards us. Actually those giants were none other than Rahul and Nikhz. We shouted all we can to get their attention but it was in vain. They continued walking towards us. We had no option but to run. “I’m really hungry today” said Nikhz.”Maybe we should stop by the hotel in the next mountain” replied Rahul. “I hope they have some delicious food there” said Nikhz with a hungry look. ”I hope the waitress looks like Jessica Alba” said Rahul with a gleaming eyes. All these time they never listened to our shouts. We were trying to run and avoid their legs, as fast as possible. Suddenly we reached a cliff, Prachi and Hiral stopped right before it but I couldn't stop myself I just fell off the cliff.

I was falling and falling and falling, never reached the ground. I lost my consciousness during the fall. Finally When I woke up, I was in a dark room I stood up and moved around the room and found an exit. When I opened it, I was in a telephone booth in the middle of a busy road. Suddenly someone grabbed my hand. ”Don’t stand here, keep moving” said the stranger. When I looked at his face it was none other but Rohit in a Black suit and Black Glasses….


To be Continued…..

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A midsummer's nightmare - Part I

It was a usual boring morning in the summer, I woke up to the usual yelling of my mom, but something was unusual it was not just my mom but the whole family is waging a war against me for oversleeping. Thoughts started flowing in my mind "Man, whats the big deal??whats wrong in sleeping during holidays". Mom was the first one to start it, as usual but what she said nearly gave me a heart attack "To think that you will be sleeping in home when your exam starts in 45mins".I thought "Man, what is she talking about I'm in my summer holidays and she says about exam, what the heck is going on....".Now Dad n Bro started saying similar things and me being irresponsible and careless, nothing was clear until Mom threw the time-table at my face, and there it was giving me the worst nightmare of my life. Now I have no choice but to attend the exam and I don’t have a clue how I'm going to pass it I can't say that to Mom and Dad, it's like suicide. So I had no other way but to start for school.

I reached school 15mins before the exam. It was the usual exam scene in the school groups of students moving with their heads poked into their books. As I passed the groups I found Nikhz and Rahul at the corner corridor."Do you know the real name of Eminem?" asked Nikhz."Does it really matters now?" asked Rahul in a bored voice."Its not "Really matters" its "Marshall Mathers" said Nikhz."Am I supposed to laugh here??" said Rahul."Don't blame me Shri is the one who is making the PJs again" snapped Nikhz[okay I'll stop it right here :P].I joined them and discussed about the morning issue but the damn bell rang and we started for the examination hall.

The examination started and I started to scribble the answers as usual. After some time i heard someone knocking the glass window, and I was shocked to see Kushal and Mayank there. Mayank was in uniform and Kushal was in a Arsenal jersey for some reason and they were looking right at me and making gestures to let them in, and I replied in the gesture way to get in through the door but Kushal pointed to the door and "Oh!! My God!!" there was no door just concrete wall. The invigilator seemed as if she is in another world or something she just didn't noticed us so I just walked towards the window. I could hear their voices now and they were angry and wanted me to let them in. When I touched the Window the next moment glass just disappeared (Harry Potter style :P) I tripped out of the hall and I stood up I wasn't in the school anymore it was some riverside and I saw myself standing before two angry men."Just because m a Arsenal fan that doesn't mean you shouldn't let me in" roared Kushal."C'mon I'm a Manchester United fan at least you should have let me in" this was Mayank and the next thing I saw was a powerful fist hitting right at my nose and I just fell in the river.

When I regained my consciousness, I found myself lying in the shore of a beach. I never thought my friends would be so harsh especially those two. There was a wrecked ship in the shore, I slowly picked myself up and started to walk towards the ship. The ship wasn’t in a very bad shape so I thought of exploring it. When I entered into one of the large cabins of the ship, I saw something glittering. I started walking towards the light. When I had clear view of it, it was a weird looking guitar in the shape of a key.There was also a treasure chest near the guitar, I assumed that the treasure chest can be opened by playing the guitar. I started to play the guitar but the ship started to shake wildly, I threw the guitar away and started to run for my life.

After escaping a tight situation I had nowhere to go but a big forest in front of me. With some hesitation and fear I started to walk into the forest. I spent the night in the forest with the fear of being eaten by the wild animals. Next morning I started my journey towards (err... I don’t have a clue about that). I continued this journey through the dense forest, suddenly I heard some footsteps and they were quickly approaching me and I was in a state of fear and excitement. As the sounds getting closer I was pulling myself to face anything that comes in my way……….

To be continued…………..

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I love the way you curse!!!

Eddy :

Jus gonna stand there n get killed....thats alright....bcoz I love the way you curse

Voldy :

m sick of ur attitude

show me some gratitude

ur hair is so spikey n u look pale

wat happened to u,tell the tale

man u are ice-cold

nothing was foretold

by that stupid Trelawney

but she did tell that ur gay

Eddy :

shut the fuck up voldy

I got a brand new Audii

ur still with a broomstick

n u look so homesick

I got some new freaky friends

I can even read minds now

its all bcoz of ur stupid curse

It badly affected my part of the verse

but still.....

Jus gonna stand there n get killed....thats alright....bcoz I love the way you curse

Voldy :

I told you once before

I'm not telling that anymore

its ur attitude I'm sick of

Why don't u jus fuck off

Its bcoz of that stupid curse

you earned a fan base

A grp of stupid girls

Who lost their eyesight

n hav to fix their brains right

atleast ur GF isn't Chinese anymore

u play baseball in thunderstorm

wats dinner tonite ??, Earthworm??

I know vampires do bloodsuck

bcoz of u,now Vampires "suck"

so far you have been bold

but never return to ouur magical world

don't even dare to trespass,coz

our Bella can kick ur Bella's ass

I had it enough with you

Killing you ll be nothin new

So heres is your final ticket

get ready to kick your bucket

AVADA KEDAVRA!!!!

After some mins...............................

Eddy rises again but not as Eddy......................

hes is..........................Justy :P

Justy :

ohh wooah...ohh wooah...ohh wooah...

I know you killed me,I saw you curse

I can eat a pie,and I'll never die

I can bluff,I call it rap

and we ll never,ever ever make sense

u r gonna kill me??please stop playing

Was that a killing curse? What are you saying

I thought it was another spell that

transfigures ones vanity

which lacks some quality

And I was like

voldy voldy voldy ohhh

My baby, baby, baby noo

I thought youd always be mine mine

voldy voldy voldy ohhh

My baby, baby, baby noo

I thought I cud kill you with this rhyme

Voldy :

Ohhhhhhhhhh MY GoD!!!

Harry Kill me........ Please!!!! :P

Harry :

Why dont u show him ur strikin pose

or ur beautiful face with no nose

I got a lot things to do, n I can't

listen to You know who

btw why don't u kill him yourself ??

Voldy :

Boy I got no money in my purse

n no energy to cast another curse

even if I do that,he might

turn into something like Munni or Sheila

wat do u expect ?? a cute bunny like lola ??

Harry :

Man,you jus suck :|

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Piracy!!!

The word "Piracy" means Copyright infringement (or copyright violation) is the unauthorized or prohibited use of works covered by copyright law, in a way that violates one of the copyright owner's exclusive rights, such as the right to reproduce or perform the copyrighted work, or to make derivative works.Piracy in India is an old story. It's open and normal and so hard to convince people that there is something wrong.

Maybe without piracy, we wouldn't watch as many movies,read as many books or use as much high-end software as we do now.most probably we'd all be quite upset if all access to pirated material was suddenly blocked.We're at the pirate party already,and we don't even think it's a problem.

The popularity of mp3 has led to an exponential increase in audio piracy.You can get a mp3 player for just 150` and almost all mobiles support the mp3 format these days.Even the albums which are hard to find are easily available in the streets for a price that’s nearly 1/10^th of the original disc.Internet is the best place to find almost anything.

Movies piracy is rising rapidly than audio or software piracy.One of the main reasons is the high entertainment taxes.Movies tickets are no less than 100`-200`.A movie in the weekend with your family will be around 1000`-1500`.The price of the pirated movie ranges from 50`-100` which sounds as sweet music to our wallets.To those who have a broadband connection at home pirating is just a piece of cake with all the torrents and download managers waiting to help you.

A genuine game DVD could cost you around 500`-2000` and the pirated copies are just 50`.The obvious reason for buying pirated games are affordability.One of the drawbacks of these pirated DVDs are they don’t come with any guarantee.I have spent 5GB of downloading only on “NFS Most Wanted” and I still can’t find working copy(and I’m still trying for a working copy :P).

Pirated software are so easily available that many are reluctant to buy the original copy.When you buy a branded Desktop or laptop you get a licensed version of windows,but when you buy an assembled PC most probably you’ll end up with an illegal copy.Adobe CS5 master collection that officially cost about 1,55,000` is free for download or available for less than 0.5% of its original price.

Enough about the ways of piracy lets see what the law says about these acts.According to the “Copyright Act of section 63” piracy is non-bailable offence.They can go in for six months to a year.Repeaters will get some more time to accompany the police.

Even if they are arrested this isn’t something that will end abruptly without a trace.We the people must stop buying and downloading pirated things(well that’s a hard thing to do :P).We should start using open source software in that way we can motivate the developer and at the same time stop the act of piracy.

I want to thank Rohit & Ranjith for their help and the editor of the Chip magazine from which I got most of the statistics(and some lines too:P).

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